Cleveland-Cincinnati Divisional Round Game

Here is our first game of the Divisional Round of the Bizarro Bowls playoffs pitting the Cleveland Browns against their divisional rival, the Cincinnati Bengals. Buffalo anally raped the the Bengals with chicken wings in the wild card round to the tune of of 31-10. The Browns sucked dick all season long just like Brady Quinn:


So who wins the battle of O-hi-o? Video and recap right now:

1st Half


2nd Half


And we get the first shootout of the Bizarro Bowl! On the first drive of the game, Cedric Benson does what he does best and that's sucking by fumbling and giving the Browns good field position at the Bengals' 48. On the first play from scrimmage, Jamal "Hey, you want some blow?" Lewis breaks a few tackles from the shitty Bengals' defense and takes it to the house to give the Browns an early 7-0 lead. After the Bengals failed to get anything going on offense, the Browns drove the ball from their 7 to the Bengals' 34 to set up a 51 yard Phil Dawson field goal. The Bengals' ineptitude continued on offense when Cedric Benson couldn't get out of his own end zone to give the Browns a safety and a 12-0 lead. However, after a missed 58 yard field goal by Phil Dawson gave the Bengals first down on their forty, Chris Henry catches a 60 year bomb from Ryan Fitzpatrick to cut the Browns' lead to 12-7. The Browns had a chance to add their lead just before the when Josh Cribbs took the ensuing kickoff to the Bengals' 25, but Phil Dawson missed his second consecutive field goal attempt and the score remained 12-7 Browns at the half.

On their first possession of the second half, the Browns continued to move the ball down the field and Jamal Lewis took a toss 40 yards to give the Browns a 19-7 lead. The Bengals answered on their next drive on an eight yard TD toss to Chris Henry to make the score 19-14. This would be the score at the end of the third quarter. The Browns responded with a 12 yard TD strike to Braylon Edwards to once again put them up two scores at 26-14. Another Chris Henry touchdown, this time set up by a flea flicker, closes the gap once again at 26-21. Marvin Lewis tries the onside kick on the ensuing kickoff, but the Browns recover at the Bengals' 45. Jamal Lewis breaks off another long run to put the Browns up 33-21 with a minute left. The Bengals just ran out of time and the game ends 33-21 for our first true upset of the playoffs. For a team that was offensively challenged the last six weeks of the season, the Browns really stepped up and earned their way out the Bizarro Bowl playoffs. For the Bengals, their nightmare season continues to the AFC championship game.